I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS......

         Another  Valentine,  a period when people express their love in a manner that they understand. Last year when I wrote an article on 'MY VALENTINE DAY DREAM', it got people thinking that I am very materialistic. It's a free world and you pay nothing to dream.  It's free. This time around, things changed because change is constant.  I don't want a boat cruise or sky diving, I don't even want sex in a warm jacuzzi but what I want is priceless... This is my confession:
   From my adolescent through my teenage years and till now, I have never really felt what love really is. It's not as if guys don't tell me they love me, I get to hear that shit all the time but it's all a lie.  Oftentimes, I am the one who sees red light yet keeps going or the one who goes in through the back door. I always tell my friends that it's better to be the one cheated with rather than be the one cheated on. That's one of the Reason why I am sometimes the other woman. That doesn't bother me so much because as beautiful and intelligent as I am, I have never won in the game of emotions. I am just not a good emotional competitor. I always lost it. Occasionally it hurts but not for so long as I sometimes enjoy the space and peace I get as a single lady. I trained myself a long time ago to enjoy loneliness because people always leave. I prefer to take advantage of the moment and that way I set my mind on enjoying the relationship while it lasts and when it ends, trust me, there's usually no hard feelings... This time around, I wish things could be different, even if it's not for too long, I just wanna know what love is. I want to feel that butterfly I read in books, those mythical stories I see in movies, that illusion people believe so much. I hope it's not too late but I just wanna know and feel what love really is.......